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Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Im not done, no im not done. You want me to stop but ill keep swinging away at your head. Im gonna crush your skull, and then piss on your grave. You crossed the wrong person too many times, and now your gonna pay for it. I wont let you run all over me anymore im gonna stand up for my rights and what i believe in. Youve lost control of me now and im gonna make sure you never get it back. Im not your bitch and im not gonna do whatever you want whenever you tell me. I regret not doin this before, not steppin up and taking a stand and being a man. Ive grown up since you last knew me and this person i am now is nothing like what you are used to. Im gonna make you see that i can be independent, and i dont need you to make me feel good about myself. Im gonna show you that just cause you kiss me and tell me that you havent let go of the feelings you had that im not just gonna fall to my knees or let my guard down and let you in to my heart. I know you too well, even though ive just begun to realize who you are. I see you in my dreams, but that doesnt mean i really want you in my bed with me. I love you yes thats true but who says i cant do that and still hate you for shutting me out and shooting me down. And dont tell me that hates so strong cause you know damn well what i mean. And if you dont then ill tell you. Im frustrated, im tired, and i dont wanna deal with this rejection anymore. You tell me to be honest with you and it gets me nowhere, and i just couldnt hold it in. I thought that maybe if i expressed how i felt you would accept it and maybe tell me how you felt, but i still dont have a response from it. Im sorry if you think i was pressuring you, i thought you would have understood that i was just being honest and spilling my heart and telling you what was on my mind, just like every other time ive talked to you. Now i dont know who to turn to, when i need to talk to someone who i am close to, cause i dont know if you are gonna listen or if you are even gonna care. So tell me, if i come to you crying, are you gonna give me a tissue and tell me to dry my eyes or hold me against you and give me your shoulder and comfort me? Am i gonna be knockin on your door for days with no answer or will you look outside your window, see its me and let me in and give me a place to feel safe?








I guess not






But thats ok, i told you ill make it on my own

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