Every artist needs his muse...be it a woman, an object in nature, etc.  Beauty can be found everywhere and anywhere, it depends on what you are looking for.  Beauty exists in a voice, a touch, a look and the connection you have with another person.  Beauty is whatever you want it to be...there can even be beauty in destruction.  Beauty gives us freedom to express, and therefore create beauty ourselves.  Beauty is something you cannot define without expressing something else.  Beauty is an appreciation of love,  a necessity of happiness, and the foundation of a relationship.  There, in the moments spent with a lover, or a friend, or a family member, beauty shines its brightest and energizes the soul. Beauty is created with a kiss, a hug, a caressing stroke.  Beauty is an emotion expressed in subtle form.  From the vibrant color of a flower, to the elegant construction of a bridges, to the astounding efficiency of a computer.  Emotion is beauty expressed in physical form.  To love, to hate, to sympathize, to empathize...all are beautiful in that way they are created, and can be beautiful in the was they are expressed - it is all dependent on the artist, the audience, and the medium. 

For me beauty is in music and beauty is in poetry.  My beauty i express with singing, playing, and writing, my beauty i share, my beauty i give to all.  My beautiful gives me courage, the beauty i see makes me strong.  The beauty i enjoy lifts my spirit, my beauty ignites my song.  The beautiful i hold is sweet and caring, the beauty i desire i see when i slumber.  I'd give everything for the beauty i see, i would do anything for the beauty that inspires me.  Beauty is in a woman, in her eyes and in her voice.  Beauty is in her touch, her kiss, in her choice.  Her choice is enigmatic - a puzzle to complex for man.  But her choice is beautiful, her choice is wonderful, her choice brings beauty to this man.

For me beauty is music and beauty is in poetry.  For me beauty is in a woman, for she expresses music and poetry, for she inspires my music and poetry, for she gives me my music and my poetry, for she IS my music and my poetry.  

For me my muse is a woman, my muse is a song, my muse is a poem.

My muse is all of those in one.

This beauty, this feeling so benign

Her grace, an angel so divine

A love I should not have, but cannot deny

My strength fails, my emotions fly

As soon as she enters the room

I feel my heart - boom, buh-boom

A deafening drum, a drowning drone

Hoping to speak to her, yet wishing we were alone

Feeling myself fall for her

Wanting to do everything with her

I can already feel the sorrow

I'm already fighting back the tears

I'll need to ignore the thought of her tomorrow

Must follow the rules set out over the years

Can't push too much, too far

My heart would be left with naught but a scar

Too deep to give up, too cautious to give in

Each road is a loss - What path must I take to win?

Trying to be a man and finding I'm still scared like a child

My heart tears me in two, my mind runs wild

Afraid to fail, yet determined to succeed

So hard to give up an emotion you need

For love her I do

And miss her I do

Hold her I will

And kiss her I will

If not today, perhaps tomorrow

So my mind will race, but no self-pity or sorrow

Ask and thou shalt receive

Know and truly believe

I've got everything I need to be victorious

The first time was amazing, the next - Glorious

Many an hour will have passed

But this fire was built to last

A passion brought forth from deep inside

Discovered by a woman - Beautiful and Kind

Strong and Brave, Tender and Loving

She set my heart ablaze and my mind running

Stunning yet subtle

She knows just how to make me crumble

A work of art Da Vinci could not touch

Her surpassing beauty remains as such

No blemish or imperfection

Just look in her eyes - feel the connection

To the world of the divine, the beauty of perfection

So I surrender to you, I surrender to this emotion, Even though I shouldn't, I said that I wouldn't.

But I know that when I sleep tonight, I will dream of you

Tonight I am with you - If only in a dream

But tomorrow is a new day

And new days give life to the dream

May the Dream I have tonight

Become the Reality I live tomorrow

There is nothing more amazing, wonderful, or intoxicating than the passionate kiss of a woman.

Ok with the election stuff out of the way...now for some more personal items.  I had my Senior Recital October 24th and it was amazing...im trying to upload the vids on YouTube but at present it is giving me trouble...and now i have 3 concerts in 5 days starting with Collegium Musicum on Saturday, Opera Scenes on Sunday, and Chorale on Wednesday...but fortunately thats pretty much it for the semester!!! December i am done with school...and will be looking for any and all opportunities to sing and perform everywhere...I will be doing L'Incoronazione di Poppea with the Hofstra Opera in January and then its just gonna be work, work, work to save some money and hopefully hook up with an Opera company.  

So thats my professional and educational life...as for my personal life - ive made some breakthroughs...I think ive learned how to truly endear people and i can say pretty much that most everyone i know and everyone i meet either instantly likes/liked me or has grown to like me.  Ive definitely gotten better at dealing with my parents...maybe ive finally begun to understand them and vice versa...its not easy for any parent to have an independent thinking child, but especially not one who is an artist/musician and walks to a completely different beat than they do.  Relationships have been "All Quiet on the Western Front" as anything that had potential quickly dissipated and i returned back to where i started.  But then again, certain things have shown promise, recently and im trying to keep my options open while getting to know more about myself and these other people - where do i fit in in their lives and where do they fit in in mine, and are our personal goals similar? is there a passion for something that life has to offer? Is there a sparkle in the eye, a fire that never goals dull when you pursue a passion, only when you settle for less than you are worth...On the note of eyes - I find it peculiar, yet awesome, - my obsession with eyes.  I want to get lost in a girl's eyes - I find great beauty and depth there. I envision myself in close quarters, possibly holding someone and looking into her eyes and being able to see the passion she has for who she is, for what she does, and hopefully for me.  There is no sweeter sight than to look into the eyes of someone you care about and to see them smile with their eyes and tell you they love you without them moving a muscle in their mouth.

I'm not even 100% sure why I'm writing, but I guess it's a bit of a necessity.  This country has just made the biggest mistake in it's long and storied history of mistakes.  How we let a man whose background is in question, whose never been a leader of anything other than being in the senate for a mere 4 years! - into the highest position of power in the world is beyond me.  He has never put any actions into congress, never backed anything and we don't know anything that he truly stands for in the political, economic, educational, or military forums.  One of his closest advisors for the majority of his life has been a radical, fundamentalist who is to feared as much as any terrorist on foreign soil.  But for this country's sake i do hope i am completely wrong...but im not taking too many chances and am probably moving either to Canada or Germany when the moment presents itself